Inferno (SKALS) Page 17

  He wanted to take some small measure of comfort from her condition. He wanted to take satisfaction from the welt and bruises marring her skin and the infections starting to fester beneath. He wanted to feel some sort of smug confidence that justice had been done, but all he felt was a truly disturbing wave of pity.

  She’d grabbed his dick under his own dinner table. She’d humiliated him and thrown herself openly at his men. She’d hurt and betrayed Taylor, but even that wasn’t enough. She deserved to suffer for those things, but she didn’t deserve this.

  “Now, now, pet,” Marx coaxed, his deep baritone laced with amusement. “I’ve taught you better than to run away from me. Is this any way to greet myself or Agent Baas?”

  A low, mournful noise emanated from the corner of the room. Sebastian took an involuntary step back when Irene peeled herself away from the wall.

  The lacerations crisscrossing her skin had been bad enough, but her battered face brought another scalding wave of acid to his throat. The sharp ridges of her cheekbones were swollen, split from Marx’s heavy fists, and both sides were latticed with freshly made imprints from his hand. Thick bruises banded her neck and red and purple mottled the rest of her body in vivid bursts.

  It took everything he had not to close his eyes. Steeling himself, he tried to think of her as nothing more than a target. Irene made that somewhat easier when she scrambled across the floor in an animalistic crouch and settled beside the commander’s feet. Without looking down, Marx absentmindedly stroked the top of her head, either oblivious to or unfazed by the dirt matted in her once vibrant copper tresses.

  Leaning into him, Irene tried to press her cheek to the man’s pant leg, but he callously booted her away, his thick lips hitching on a sneer.

  “I’m sor-sorry, si-sir,” she choked.

  “You should be,” Marx stated, “but you aren’t sorry, pet. Not yet.”

  His stare swung to Sebastian with no warning. For a moment, he found himself stricken with a crippling stab of panic. He didn’t know why the man brought him here, or what he was expecting, but the look in the Marx’s eyes warned it wouldn’t be good. They were cold and empty, reflecting nothing. It was like staring into the blackness of a bottomless abyss.

  “Relax, Sebastian. Much like you, I merely crave my girl’s affections whenever I’m away. She doesn’t look like much, but with time and some gentle coaxing, she’s learned to serve me and my needs quite well.”

  His throat squelched with his swallow. He was going to be sick. He couldn’t even close his eyes to help combat the nausea. Between the sight and the smells, he was done.

  “That’s wonderful,” he quipped. “Are we finished?”

  “Not just yet. I saw the looks you and your lover exchanged last night and, after your reaction, one thing became very clear. That ring on her finger is much more than a means to lock her down and keep her mouth shut.”

  Sebastian tensed. The familiar phrase smacked him across the face and threatened to fan his anger into a raging inferno that would destroy everything in its path. He’d only uttered those words once before—in the warehouse with Laychee. That son-of-a-bitch was dead, as were his men. He’d planted a bullet in Dominic’s skull. The only other person who would know what he’d said that night was Taylor, and she would never repeat it. The pain of what they’d went through that night was still too raw, too real. Neither of them wanted to relive that experience in any way.

  Yet here he was, listening to the words he’d uttered in a desperate attempt to save her all over again.

  Hatred burned, igniting like wildfire in his veins. Marx’s words were as good as a confession. The sweet, coppery tang of blood rolled across his tongue as he bit his cheeks. His fists balled and he forced his hands behind his back before he did something he would regret. Revenge would come. Of that much he was certain, but now was not the time or the place. If he shot the bastard now, the guards would never let him out of the room. He would die there, trapped in a cell with Irene. Not to mention the fact that a bullet was far too quick and painless a death. No, Marx was going to suffer long and hard for everything he had done.

  “What is your point?” he forced himself to ask, his voice coming in a harsh rasp.

  Marx reached down and stroked the top of Irene’s head with absentminded affection. A cruel gleam ignited in his eyes as she cowered at his feet.

  “I’ve decided to be generous. Your attachment to the girl is not without its benefits. You’re a hard one to tame, Sebastian, but perhaps your pet will give me the leverage I need.” Marx’s penetrating stare locked with his. “Is she expecting?”

  It took effort not to flinch. The question hit him like a buckshot to the gut. Through reeling, he forced himself to stay calm, passive, and not strike out in anger or fear. It was growing harder by the second.

  “Of course not,” he managed, his voice barely civil.

  “She’s a slender girl, Sebastian. Her stomach looked swollen. Despite her efforts to hide it, I noticed.”

  “I told you she was ragging it,” he snapped. “She was fucking bloated. That doesn’t mean I knocked her up.”

  Marx smiled. “Pity. While I’m not fond of the girl, it would be nice to know someone was carrying on your bloodline. I will let you keep your pet, for now, but you and I are going to reach an understanding. Her ass belongs to me, as just as surely as yours. She will uphold our standards and expectations. You will comply with me and do everything I ask, Sebastian, or I will drag you kicking and screaming into a world of pain. This,” he said, gesturing to Irene, “is nothing. This is mere play. Sooner or later, I will get tired of her and then…” he pointed to the trembling woman with his fingers and simulated pulling the trigger. “Bang.”

  Sebastian glared back at him. It was killing him, but there was nothing he could do. Nothing he could say. Not without running the risk of getting them both killed. Marx was studying him, his soulless eyes searching for the slightest hint of emotion or betrayal, waiting for him to screw up or lash out in any way. Gritting his teeth, he spread his hands in a show of acceptance. There was nothing else he could do. He refused to die locked away in that room. Someday though, Marx would pay. Not just for threatening his family, but for his open acts of treason and betrayal. He’d given his life to this man, handed his conscience and soul over on a silver platter, only to have the cold knife of betrayal twisted and stabbed into his back again and again.

  Hell itself was too kind a fate.

  “I suggest you keep your family and your men in line, Sebastian. The nightmare the two of you endured at Laychee’s hands is nothing compared to the suffering that awaits her if you or your team disappoints me again. Is that clear?”

  “Crystal,” he bit back.

  “Good. Get your team together and grab your gear. We’re heading out.”

  ~*~*~*~

  Taylor lingered at the doors leading out onto the back deck. Sebastian sat partially reclined in one of the lounge chairs with a heavy tumbler of scotch cradled in his hands. He’d barely said two words over the course of dinner and, even now, in a moment of relative privacy, his stoic expression lent little insight into his thoughts. Resting her head against the cool glass, she searched for a way to relieve the tension and silence brewing between them. He’d seemed so troubled the moment he walked through the door.

  Now he was just distant and, as he watched the brushstrokes of the setting sun paint the sky, he looked sad. Frowning, she noted the slight tremble in his hand as he lifted the glass and tilted it against his lips. His eyes clamped shut for a moment and her heart ached as she watched him fight to hold whatever he was feeling at bay.

  She battled with herself. Shutting down was Sebastian’s way of defending himself and, in ways, protecting her, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept or endure. His pain was hers. There was no way she could stand there and watch the man she loved tear himself apart.

  Taking a deep breath, she pushed the screen door open. Sebastian tensed before turning sl
ightly in his seat. His eyes locked with hers. Uncertainty played in those pale shamrock depths before giving way to silent questions and shame. The strong lines of his shoulders lowered and, without a word, he let his gaze drift back across the yard. Taking that as a cue to keep her distance, she watched the amber sunset play across his face. The deep golden light only added to his beauty. It accented the slight dents in his cheeks that framed his mouth and lit the unruly tumbles of his hair ablaze with rich highlights of auburn and honey. The strong lines of his jaw tensed, forcing his mouth into a condemning purse.

  She felt a small smile lift to hers in response. It made him look haughty and almost regal. He wore the look often without even meaning to.

  Her amusement faded when his expression tightened and his body seemed to curl in on itself with a small tremble. Hurrying to his side, she caught the glass just as it started to slip out of his hands. He shook his head and tried to ward her away with one hand as he pressed the fingers of the other tightly against his eyes. His shoulders jerked with a silent sob and her throat closed in on itself.

  Dropping onto the lounger beside him, she hesitantly ran her hand down his back in a bid to bring him comfort.

  “Don’t,” he warned, his voice hoarse. “I don’t want you…” he trailed off and drew a juddering breath, “I don’t want you to see me like this. Just go back inside, Taylor. Please.”

  “I can’t. I’m not leaving you like this, Sebastian. You’re hurting. I’m not asking you to tell me what happened,” she said. Running her hand over his back, she pressed her lips against the side of his shoulder. “Just let me be here for you.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t.”

  “Don’t shut me out,” she whispered against him. “We’re all each other has, Sebby. Please.”

  Twisting away, he plowed a furious hand through his hair. His body jerked again. It was hard to say if it was a crazed laugh or another sob he tried to bury. “You’re not listening to me. You don’t get it, Taylor. I don’t need you to coddle me. I don’t need your comfort, and I sure as hell don’t deserve it. Do yourself a favor and get away from me.”

  “No. You don’t mean that.”

  He spun to face her and she jerked back, startled by the dizzying combination of raw pain and fury in his eyes. They damn near glowed, his light green irises made even more vivid by the hints of red blossoming throughout the whites. The muscles framing his cheeks knotted and gathered tightly beneath his skin as he clenched his teeth. Letting his eyes drift shut, he slowly turned his head away.

  “I love you,” he stated, his voice strained. “More than anything in this world, but I can’t bear to look at you right now.”

  His words struck a heavy chord of fear. Numb, she tried to shake the chill that crawled like a slow moving glacier in her veins. She searched frantically for reasons, explanations, anything at all that she could have done. She was grasping at invisible straws and, more than that, she felt like she was drowning. No matter how many breaths she drew, no matter how hard she tried, none of the air seemed to make it into her starving lungs.

  Her hand shook as she lowered it into her lap. Bowing her head, she shielded her hurt behind the dark curtain of her hair. “Whatever I did to upset you, I’m sorry.”

  He twisted around without warning, the fluid speed in his movements startling. Wide-eyed, she stared back at him while he snared her face between his hands.

  “No,” he said, running a thumb over the slope of her cheek. “You didn’t do anything wrong. This has nothing to do with you, baby. Do you hear me? This is all me. All of this…it’s all on me.”

  It felt like someone had a death grip on her throat. Though meant to help, his assurances didn’t make her feel any better.

  “It’s not though.” She finally managed to speak, but her voice was shaky and strangled. “It’s you and me, Sebastian. Whatever happens, we are in this together.”

  She wished she could take the words back as soon as they left her mouth. The pain that crossed his face was devastating. His noble features twisted and crumpled. Clamping his eyes shut, Sebastian shook his head as if trying to lose the memory or the slow burn of her words. His expression remained pained.

  “Don’t say that right now, Taylor. Please. I’m begging you. Don’t say that.”

  She couldn’t take anymore. Whatever this was, whatever had happened, it was ripping him to shreds. Surging forward, she wrapped her arms around him. He braced against her and started to pull away, but she held on tight. Sebastian grew even more rigid, but as the seconds ticked by, he gradually started to relax. She sagged with relief the moment his arms lifted and he crushed her against him.

  “You know I will always love you,” she whispered, trailing her fingers through his disheveled curls. “No matter what. I won’t push you, but if you need to, you can talk to me. I want to help you, Sebby. I would do anything to ease your pain.”

  “I know, baby, but you can’t. You don’t know…the things that happened today…I can’t un-see them.”

  Her blood quickened under the threat of danger, making her pulse thunder in her ears. She didn’t want to ask. She didn’t want to know what could possibly have him so unraveled, yet some secret part of her did. If only to help ease the fear.

  “They were innocent, Taylor. Those people were innocent and he just…mowed them down. They were running. They were so scared and they were just trying to get away—to understand what was happening.”

  His hold on her tightened, his grip crushing until it was hard to breathe. Resting her head against his, she kept stroking his hair, coaxing him, but letting him continue at his own pace. Sebastian trembled lightly against her, his breathing shaky and uneven. His eyes remained closed as he relived the nightmare playing in his head.

  “They tried so hard,” he repeated, whispering. “It wasn’t right, Taylor. It wasn’t right. These people weren’t terrorists. They didn’t deserve that. He lied to the team and he used us to slaughter them.”

  A heavy block of ice settled in her chest. The images flashing through her mind were far from pretty, and she felt her stomach twist. Holding him tighter, she tried not to imagine what that must have been like.

  “I can’t do this,” he stated, backing the claim up with a gentle shake of his head. “Not if this is the way things are going to be. I just can’t.”

  She didn’t know how anybody could, but she didn’t dare put those thoughts into words for the fear of making things worse. “I know, Sebby.”

  “No. You don’t. How could you? That’s the thing, Taylor. That’s always been the biggest thing about all of this. I don’t want you to know these things about me. It kills me to think about you looking at me and ever seeing anything but love reflected in your eyes. I don’t want you to feel disgusted or ashamed to be with me.”

  “Sebastian, I don’t.”

  “How could you not?” he asked, pulling away and springing to his feet. “Jesus, Taylor. Are you even listening to me? We slaughtered a bunch of innocent people today. We killed kids. Does that make you proud? Does that make you want to go to bed with me? To carry my child and my name?”

  She recoiled from the ferocity in his voice as much as his claims. Tears brimmed back at her, still unshed, as he raised his arms in silent question. Shaking her head, Taylor struggled to swallow past the lump wedged in her throat.

  “I…”

  Shit. What in the hell was someone even supposed to say to something like that?

  Taking a deep breath, she tried again. “There is a difference,” she stated softly, no longer able to meet his eyes.

  “In what?”

  “Between what you do for a living and you. I’m not blind, Sebastian. I know you’ve done some terrible things. But there is a difference between the man who’s doing his job and you. That man would never let his guard down, and he would never be able to look at someone with love in his eyes or treat them with kindness and compassion.”

  He flinched at the last word, but she kept goi
ng.

  “But you do those things, Sebby. You do them for me every day.”

  He stared at her for a long moment. His mouth pursed, his lips whitening beneath the firm press. “I hate to break it to you, baby, but me and that monster are one and the same.”

  “No. You aren’t.”

  “I don’t care if you believe it or not, Taylor, that darkness is a huge part of me. It always has been.”

  “That’s not true,” she whispered, rising to her feet and stepping forward to run her hands over his cheeks. “Not always. There is some goodness in you. There is some light. You try to keep it buried, hidden, from yourself and the rest of the world, but I see it Sebastian. It’s in there. That’s why you’re torn up and hurting.”

  “Stop it. I’m not hurt. I’m pissed and you’re just talking in circles, Taylor. A person can’t be both, so which is it? Am I good man or a bad one?”

  She lowered her eyes. Her heart tightened with sorrow and conflict as varying explanations flittered through her mind. How did she put into words the complexity and mystery that comprised him? Try as she might, there was no defining Sebastian.

  “Look at me,” he commanded with a forceful tug of her hair. “I want an answer, Taylor.”

  Shivering at the hard edge creeping into his voice, she forced herself to meet those intense shamrock-colored eyes. He snared her jaw and held her gaze. An impatient growl rumbled through him and Taylor’s heart stutter stepped as the air in her lungs started to burn.

  Wetting her lips, she finally mustered a response. “You’re you, Sebastian. I can’t describe it. You’re a mixture of everything—passion and poison all rolled into one. You can be cruel and heartless one moment, and incredibly sweet and vulnerable the next. There’s seldom any middle ground with you. You swing from one side to the other with little or no warning. I never know what to expect or what side of you I’m going to get.”

  His fingers sank deeper into the lines of her jaw and he wrenched her head to the side, allowing him access to her neck. Sharp teeth and stubble plied her sensitive skin as Sebastian ground his hips against hers, his arousal hard and menacing between them. Surging forward, he backed her against the house, trapped her wrists beneath his powerful hands, and pinned them to the bricks.